Ignorance is your new best friend
by Fallen Angel death
Summary: "What's dead should stay dead" After a horrific accident Dean's grasping for his life, Sam and the gang try to help but tragedy strikes. How can John help his boy now? And is it the right thing to do? Sometimes death has a habit of changing things and whats gone should stay gone. In Collaboration with Iclethea. Warning Slash/violence. Read
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Ignorance is your best friend written with the amazing Iclethea.

Life never turns out the way you plan, something always comes along and just screws everything to hell. I suppose it was faith in a way an ironic twist really, death had come knocking on my door on more than one occasion and each time I had sent that ugly skeleton packing but this time was different. Life never does go the way you plan it. My dad used to say that we were soldiers destined to set the world to rights, to stop every evil son of a bitch that crawled out from the hell hole beneath our feet, to avenge all those sorry souls and protect the innocent. I had lived by that saying my entire life whole heartily believing that we could make a difference that we would stop it all, I never really saw how wrong I was. It was going to be a long road cold and dark like the back roads Sammy and I took but there was no going back not from where I was heading, Sammy I would miss that son of a gun, I was scared too what if someone hurt him? But my Sammy could look after himself he might not look it but he really was a fighter underneath it all my boy, he would never give up always finding a way to make it all better, my little genius still though... It's dark here there's no lights I had pictured it differently, I guess the movies really are a load of shit. It's cold too so cold, freezing me to the bone an icy burn. It's impossible to see and the silence is deadly, calm too but after a few moments it begins to hurt. I was never around such emptiness before its hollow like a void eerily calm. I can't suppress a shiver it's just so cold, the memories come then Sammy, Dad, Bobby even Ellen. I'm going to miss em all of them, but no one can live forever it's a circle right but I still can't shake this fear it doesn't feel right it can't be my time yet right? There's still so much to do so many demons to put down and creatures to kill. It ain't right none of this is, I hate the quiet and the memories only hurt, I'll never see any of em ever again not Sammy's smile or Bobby's frown not even Dad's anger I miss it all and it hurts so much. I'm all alone alone... I've never been so alone. Sammy, dad I need you I need you both so much. I was taught to be strong but I can't take this nothingness this pain. My breath is the only sound and it's just not right, I'm a soldier and a hunter this ain't right I should be out there I should be helping dad and protecting Sam it's my duty my job, I can't just leave em who's gonna stop Dad and Sam from hollering at each other? Who's going to take the risks and push on for a brighter future? I can't just stay here in this nothingness it's not me. A thought hits then cold and hard the truth usually is though right what if they don't need me? My breath stops loud in the quiet no... My head shakes no they do, but the doubt is there they don't need me Dad was always the strong one he was the best there was better than I ever could be and Sammy, he's special not in that airy fairy way but down to the core special, what was I? I was worth nothing in comparison why would they need me? My eyes prick and it hurts it hurts worse than any punch or kick then any slap or bullet. My knees give out and there's only my heat ripping in this God Damm silence. "Why me!" there would be no answer I know that but I still ask I still beg for someone to listen even though there's no one nothing but the cold and the dark. My fists clench I'm so sorry I failed them all I was nothing I am nothing but I had failed and failure wasn't what I was taught, you gotta win dads voice is breaking through the silence win win win that's all I ever tried to do but it's never enough it wasn't enough. So many things left unsaid I never said how much I loved Sammy I should have even if it made me sound weak and gooey he wouldn't know how much I cared, I never told dad how much he put on me how couldn't handle it all, it wasn't fair none of it was. My life had been planned out all cos of dad's God Damm obsession now look at me? I was nothing trapped here in the nothingness it was his fault all his fault. The anger is too strong I wonder how long it's been there week's months? Years? I want mom I want to see her face one more time I want to feel her just one more time it wasn't right she was just taken from me all because of Sam, Sam no it wasn't his fault but there's the doubt again he never cared it was different for him he never knew her. But I did I could still see her face hear her laugh, but she's nothing but a memory a memory that could fade. I don't think anyone remembers dads too obsessed with this demon and Sam he is too. Sam I love you but you never cared about us you left me Sam you tried to be oh so normal and look what happened you never cared you and dad were made for each other both so heartless both so cold. My fists clench whispers have started in the silence so low but so loud yes I was the only one it had only ever been me. I'd show em I show em all they were the weak ones they left me, cowards hiding behind books and tales. They had left Dad and Sammy not Bobby though no Bobby had always cared, I really did love Bobby more of dad to me than my own, he had always been there during the times dad wasn't he remembered he never forgot. Bobby was strong but warm not cold and heartless, Bobby would stand by my side when I got back, oh yeah I was coming back I was going to get out of this hell hole and I would show em all no one messes with Dean and lives no one they could all go to hell, the irony of it but still. "Dean come to me Dean come open your eyes" there's a soft wave almost like warmth spreading through my chest erasing the cold, my fingers tingle and my heart does this weird little flip. The whispers get louder but that voice cuts through it all its calm and warm and so right. My heart tugs and I find myself turning I'm drawn to it drawn to this invisible being "Dean Come Wake up hear my voice come to me" My feet carry me and the darks fading there's this light and it's so bright but it doesn't hurt no it makes me feel whole so good and warm, my heart pounds so loud and its racing so fast I feel dizzy but I'm compelled to move towards that voice I need to go to that light. My heartbeat sounds so loud it hurts my ears and I push onwards there's this urgency now I can't shake it have to go and this strange force almost pulling me. "Dean Come on, come to me wake up Wake up!" and I'm running so fast my heart thumping too loud and this strange feeling expanding within me. It feel almost painful but not so and I'm gasping and pushing towards that light, the darkness is closing behind me the cold breathing against my back but I run on. The warmth is burning and the pain increases but I keep going, I gasp lungs heaving as my hand reaches out to clasp the light and then there's brightness and such noise and I'm holding something firm and warm and so strong. My eyes are wide and I'm heaving as a man smiles down at me "Welcome back dean" I can't look away from his face it's too beautiful almost unearthly there's rustling and too much noise and the warmth is still there but the pains lingering. "Dean!" My eyes feel heavy but I manage to move em just a little bit it's too much to take in the last thing I see is Sammy's grinning face before darkness falls across my eyes but this time it ain't cold or empty its safe and warm, and there's still that hand holding me tight. There's a quiet rumbling so low I can barely hear "He's back Dad Dean's back" then there's nothing.

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Hope you guys enjoyed the prologue I'm not much of an expert at Supernatural unlike Iclethea but I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please read and review feedback is always appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter one the long road

Dean's POV

It was another dark lonely night, the air thick with the stench of death and decay. A bad feeling traipsed through my gut as we neared the looming grey brick house. The cold was biting cutting through the flimsy layers of the jacket and shirt covering my frame. My fingers trailed to the cool metal against my hip, its familiar weight eased some of the anxiety from my bones. Still there was that feeling I couldn't put my finger on it, but If there was one thing dad had taught me it was to listen to my instincts "Your gut never lies" it was one of the many famous quotes he pumped through us. My eyes trailed back and forth across the beaten down door, fingers twitching as we pushed closer. From the corner of my eye I could make out Sammy, his lips were moving mumbling something God knew what it was Sam after all, he put the s in strange. A hint of a smile tugged my lips upwards as I nailed him the thumbs up. His annoyed frown was worth my moment of childish behaviour. Cautiously I toed the door open, the hinges squeaking from disuse as it swung, meeting the wall with a hefty smack. "Dean" I cringed hey it wasn't my fault but Sammy always decided it was. Instead of responding I swept it checking the corners before anything else. The smell was worse in here overbearing, my eyes watered while my nostrils flared. Sam's muffled cough told me he hated it too. A chilling wind cut upstairs from the basement, Oh no not the basement why was it always the basement? A weak shudder threatened to overthrow me but I held firm. Inclining my head to Sammy I stealthy made my way towards the faded oak door. Quiet whispers met my ears as the stairs creaked beneath my weight, the smell worsened, almost causing my throat to close and gag repeatedly, I swallowed shallowly inching forwards. The coldness was a firm indicator that what we were looking for was certainly here. My heart picked up in its steady rhythm the survival instinct urging me to turn back and run. As a hunter it was my job to ignore such an instinct. The feeling of something warm and firm clutching my leg had a muffled scream pressing against my lips Jesus Christ! Frightened baby blues stared up at me beneath long dark hair. A kid it was just a kid, my heart melted a little, slowly I took a breath calming my jumping heart "Sam" I breathed, I suppose kids were more his thing, immediately he crouched down voice conveying assurance and warmth "It's okay I got you" his eyes met mine in acknowledgement looks like I was taking this guy out on my own ah well. Hoisting her small body upwards he gestured to the others wait others? For a moment I panicked seeing all those frightened eyes staring up at me, it took my brain a second to register that they were just scared little kids and not anything sinister or evil. "I'll be back Dean be careful don't do anything rash" he warned arching an eyebrow my way okay not cool I was the big brother here, I didn't need Sammy telling me what to do. In response I did the most adult thing I could do I flipped him the finger before turning on my heel, the little shit had the gall to laugh. I kept my focus though as I heard Sammy heard the little ones out, something wasn't right that feeling was pressing hard now tightening my chest and cooling my blood. Fingers gripping reliable weight at my side my eyes scanned the room as I advanced. It was dark too dark making it hard to make out anything. My eyes strained trying and failing to see beyond the large black blobs. My breath stuttered out loud in the eerie quiet, my heart pumped one two three one two three, the rhythm never breaking even as the familiar tremors of anxiety trembled up my spine. The silence shifted the lowest of sounds echoing oh shit I found myself gripping the taser tightly my knuckles straining white beneath the trembling flesh. From the corner of my eye I could make out something moving big and slow turning my way. I took a breath I could do this, I had been doing this for years, but the years never wash the primal fear and instinct to run. It was clawing its way closer and by damm it was a big son of a bitch, its nostrils were flaring like mad twisted face pulling into a malicious growl. I held my ground though adrenaline was screaming through my legs urging me to run and not look back. I crept backwards allowing it to follow, it all depended on a single moment. Still cold water splashed upwards as it advanced eyes alit with hunger looks like I was next on the menu. The chill in the room wrapped around my body in a death like hold and that feeling burned with intensity. Its jaw pulled back sharp teeth glittering in the dim light. There was no time to think only react as it lunged. Years of practice had graced me with amazing reflexes. Mid lunge my fingers squeezed the trigger arm thrumming from the force of it. Satisfaction coiled in my stomach as 100,000 bolts of pure electricity hit the ugly thing square in the chest. It reared back almost like it was surprised before it burst splattering the walls with dark retched guts and blood. My lungs burst my heart racing from the adrenaline rush but something was wrong. It took a slit second for comprehension to dawn on me before I collapsed body seizing in agony. My hands trembled without consent body failing against the large puddle of water soaking through my clothes. Why hadn't I been more careful the damm water, I must have been stepping right in it! My lungs burst as my heart exploded searing white hot blinding pain riddling my body. My blood pounded frantically eyes rolling as I convulsed over and over my heart trembling with the strain as pure electricity sizzled through my entire being. My lips pulled back a tortured scream coming out as nothing sort of a gurgle. My fingers furled and uncurled frantically legs spasming without control as the pain ran rampant through my mind oh God I was dying there was no mistaking it the pain oh god please make it stop I had never felt anything so blinding before it almost made me pray for death anything to stop the white hot rivers from spreading through my nerves frying them to the bone. I tried to scream but it was only a made gurgle of indescribable pain and agony. Make it stop! My heart kept on going though screaming from the sudden intrusion frantically trying to fight it but it was futile nothing short of a losing battle. The pain rocketed on causing my muscles to give one final heartfelt squeeze before slumping uselessly. My fingers still kept twitching while my vision began to go dark this was it. I found it ironic really after everything I had hunted I was going to die by such mundane means. The pain still had a firm hold on my heart the large muscle finally tiring of its fight and giving in. With a final gurgle and attempt to move I was gone, the world around me turning into nothing but an endless dark abyss. "Sammy I'm sorry"

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Sam's POV

The wind was harsh and biting cutting through my skin as the little girl clung to me, she was too cold and frail, the others crowded behind me a devoted band of frightened 5-7 year olds. Managing with some difficulty I wrenched opened the Impala's door, the warm interior was a welcome greeting and a reprieve from the cold and wretched smell. Skinny arms held tight as I ushered the others inside, stomach sinking ever so slightly I didn't like Dean handling that raw head alone, call it a sixth sense but I knew something bad was going down. I knew Dean could handle himself he was better than any hunter I laid my eyes on but there was something undeniably wrong about this whole night. "Stay here" I muttered trying to put as much authority as I could muster into my voice, as I untangled the girl from my chest. She wailed frightened blues flashing with terror. I felt uncertain I didn't have that much experience with kids, something told me Dean would handle this alot better, he was after all an all or nothing kind of guy. "It's okay I'll be right back I just need to help my brother okay, I promise you'll be safe here" okay the last bit was a lie but I couldn't exactly say that now could I? Her lip wobbled dangerously causing my heart to clench oh Christ please don't cry I couldn't handle that right now. Fortunately for me a pair of skinny pal arms reached around her "It's okay Sarah I'll look after you" despite the boys scared eyes he held her tight, voice betraying nothing but strength, I had to give the kid credit. Smiling I nodded "That's right now stay here I'll be back in a minute I promise" For a moment she just stared at me those blue depths searching, it almost felt like she was looking through me before she nodded burying her tear streaked face into the boy behind her. His eyes met mine and those green depths said only one thing if you're lying there'll be trouble. Its strange isn't it I wasn't scared of vampires or demons but one look from that kid and I felt like running. I nodded once before jogging towards the house. My heart was beating ninety as I neared, there was silence. The sound had my gut sinking and my pulse racing something was defiantly wrong. "Dean" my voice echoed eerily back at me, no answer not even a whisper. My throat closed fear clawing at my stomach, no everything was alright but the sinking feeling of dread curled around me in a choking embrace. Stealthily I made my way down the basement stairs, the wood creaked loudly beneath my feet, for a moment I feared it would break. The retched stanch of burning filled my nose causing my nostrils to flare and my eyes to water. The urge to gag was overwhelming but I swallowed it down Dean would never let up if I puked. My eyes took awhile to adjust to the dark, the sharp sounds of sizzling ringing through my ears. My fingers toyed against my waist the familiar weight of the taser a reassuring warmth. "Dean" I tried again edging closer my feet met water cold and dark, soaking my legs and feet in seconds. A shudder worked its way up my spine, don't look my mind told me but an auto pilot I took a step only to meet something hard, warm and still. My breath caught in my throat Oh God no. The evidence though couldn't be denied as I dropped to my knees my jeans were instantly soaked through cold water pressing insistently against my legs. My fingers reached out cautiously shaking slightly as my heart froze, unblinking hazel green met my vision as my fingers closed against Dean's still arm. He was still warm but there was no movement. "Dean" I whispered not believing what was so undeniably true, there was no response. No, no my fingers frantically shook him eyes stinging no "Dean you can't be dead, your my big brother my protector nothing can hurt you" the tears left an sticky trail down my cheeks as I clutched him tight, my heart aching and ripping the pain it hurt too much no not Dean anyone but Dean take me instead! My eyes roamed taking in his face no I couldn't let him go! Gently I cradled him to me rocking slightly as the sobs pulled from my lips loud and fierce in the stillness. "No Dean you're not gonna leave me you hear me!" I pressed him down fingers drifting to his chest I wasn't going to let him go I couldn't I wouldn't. "Breath Dean!" I pressed down hands pumping against his chest one two three, I needed him to fight I needed him to not give up "Come on Dean" I whispered tears falling freely against his shirt as I bared down pushing as much strength as I could into my hands after the final count of thirty I opened his mouth it was weird but screw it I was saving my brother I pressed my mouth to his breathing as much oxygen as I could into his mouth. I didn't stop pressing frantically against his chest again, hoping praying "don't you die on me you stubborn son of a bitch!" my arms ached from the strain of so much exertion but I couldn't stop even as my muscles screamed in agony. I wouldn't quick adrenaline pumped through my system fast and furious giving me the strength to go on. My lips returned to his desperately breathing in as much as I could "Come on Dean don't give up on me!" my voice was shaking openly broken with my tears but I didn't care. Then so quietly I almost didn't hear it at first he took the smallest of breaths, the heart beneath my fingers beginning to pump and thrum weakly and faint but still there. I cried the relief was tainted though I needed to get him some medical attention and fast. My left hand cradled him close "that's it Dean breath it's going to be okay" His chest rose and fell faintly lips parting ever so slightly, with my free hand I scrambled for my phone, dialling as fast as physically possible. My fingers shook the excess of the adrenaline rush sweeping through my system, leaving me shaky and weak "911 yes ambulance now our location 199 ebony crescent road bellbriar hurry!" my voice was a rush I hoped to God they heard. "Hold on Dean just hold on a little longer" my fingers swept through his hair gently reassuring, I reviled on the feel of the weak pulse pressing against my fingers. Just keep fighting don't give up. My cheeks were caked with salty tears as I held back a sob. Finally the sounds of sirens cut through the air, loud and final. "It's okay Dean you're going to be okay" I held him tight not wanting to let go. Twin footsteps creaked downstairs, reluctantly I let Dean go as the paramedics took over. It was all touch and go they hoisted him easily supporting him easily and placing an oxygen mask over his face, before sliding him into the stretcher. I gripped his hand tight as we were ushered outside. It was deathly cold out the wind harsh and unforgiving. I vaguely remembered the kids making sure to mutter it to the paramedic beside me. He looked confused at first before nodding I couldn't care less at the moment all that mattered was Dean. I climbed into the ambulance without waiting the flashing blue lights blinding me. My body was shaking uncontrollably heart rapidly pressing against my ribs as I clutched his hand in mine, he was so cold compared to me but it was going to be alright everything would be alright. "Don't worry Dean I'm here" those hazel green eyes stared at me the ghost of a smile fluttering across his face before his eyes closed. I smiled the tears ebbing please be okay Dean I can't live without you.

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Unknown POV:

Have you ever felt compelled by something you don't know what it is or why it's calling you, it's just there. The same feeling spread through me causing me to turn and think, something wasn't right it was almost like a pull spreading through me starting in the centre and working its way outwards. I was drawn to this pull this indescribable feeling. Like a moth to a flame it pulled me in closer and closer and then there was pain I had never experienced such a thing before. It frightened me that is if fear was an emotion I could understand and feel. The need to move to go somewhere was taunting swirling around in my mind like a splinter drilling its way through over and over. Still I could not ignore it try as I might I needed to act, action as it were was a profound problem of mine, I had never had a just cause to act first and think later, yet this need was creating an impulse i had never been impulsive before. It was strange yet compelling I would have to pick it apart later for further study. I felt myself moving following this urge allowing it to pull me, the pain was mingling with something else. My eyes closed almost unconsciously my actions were beyond me but I had to go on to see this through. With that thought I decided it meant breaking about a hundred rules but i could not ignore such an impulse. The others may not understand then again I could not expect them to not when I could hardly understand it myself. Still I had decided and I always saw things through till the very end. My lips moved soundlessly as I traced a finger down the map the impulsive grew guiding me until. My finger stopped on a small town called bellbriar. "Bellbriar"" a small smile flickered across my face yes that was the place that was where I must go. With a final smile I was off Bellbriar here I come.

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